Girls Weekend

This past Friday (Veteran's Day weekend) we knew our friend Kellyn was coming to visit for the weekend.  She said she was going to be in Orlando for work and was going to drive over after her meetings for a long weekend.  I was thrilled -  since I never know how often we're going to see each other it's always exciting when we get a chance to catch up.  Apparently, unbeknownst to me this was actually part of a larger diabolical plan…  Kellyn, Michelle, and I met years ago when we all lived and worked together in Sarasota, but since have all gone different ways with Kellyn in Birmingham and Michelle in Atlanta.  Apparently it was all a ruse as Kellyn and Michelle had been conspiring to drive down and surprise me (I had no idea Michelle was coming too - or that they were coming just for me and the beach, not for a work trip).  Wade was in on it and I was really impressed that he kept the secret so well because I was utterly surprised and screamed like a girl when they both showed up at the front door. :)  Well done ladies, that is my kind of surprise!  After being in the car ALL day on Friday we had a Mexican feast waiting for them (courtesy of Chef Wade) so we all stuffed ourselves before turning in early.

To top it off, Michelle and I had been talking earlier that week about the baby stuff she was putting aside for us and she was able to keep up the ruse.  So the car they drove down had a back seat full of maternity clothes, baby clothes, and stuff that her adorable 2 year old Gus was done with!

Saturday we ate our way through the Farmer's Market, then headed out to Pass-a-Grille (a first for me) to check out the little shops, stroll the beach, and enjoy some music.  We had so much fun and getting some sun and exercise felt great.  Saturday night we got our TV antenna working (after much experimentation) and were able to get the big Alabama game for Kellyn so we had a night of college football, pizza, and snacks (Wade's favorite part of the weekend!).

Michelle, me, and Kellyn capturing our love of the beach at Pass-a-Grille. 

Nothing better than french fries with a view of the beach.

Sunday we enjoyed sleeping in before taking a lovely walk down the waterfront to our neighborhood park then came home and had lunch in the garden.  We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging with the chickens and reading in the garden soaking up some fresh air and sunshine.  All weekend Wade was amazing and kept us well fed so we left him to his own devices during the day to bum around as he pleased.
Monday morning we had breakfast, and went for another quick walk before the girls packed up and headed back north.  I was so sad to see them go, but so grateful to have such thoughtful and caring friends in my life.

That night the Girls Weekend continued with our monthly neighborhood "Girls Night Out" or GNO.  I usually do November and put out a s'mores bar for everyone to enjoy around the fire.  The plan was to hold it early enough in the month so that our friend Katie could still join before having her baby, but she went into labor and ended up having the baby right before we started the evening.  Lisa had the great idea of getting us all together before we wrapped up for the evening to send Katie a "cheers" picture welcoming her new baby boy, McGee.  It was a fun night and a few of my friends from outside the neighborhood also came too - it was a lot of fun and the perfect way to cap off an already incredible girls weekend!

Cheers to Katie for giving birth to her baby boy right before s'mores night started!

Philly

The last few days of October I was in Philadelphia for a work trip to conduct some interviews for a program evaluation I'm working on.  I stayed in the historic part of town and mostly walked to my meetings at the nearby National Park Service offices.  While I was in town I even discovered a gluten free bakery and enjoyed some fresh baked bread and cookies which was a real treat.  I was able to eat fairly well while I was there, so that was a relief - there was a local food restaurant, Farmacia, between my hotel and the park offices,  that became my go to place.  It also helped that I packed a lot of snacks and oatmeal packets for breakfast!

One of the days I drove out to Valley Forge National Historical Park for one interview and got to enjoy a little time in the park after my meeting.  I wandered the visitor center and did a quick loop around the park road to take in the fall air (chilly!).  Below is one of the landmarks in the park commemorating those who fought for America's independence.  

The National Memorial Arch was constructed in the early 1900s to commemorate George Washington and the Continental Army's stay in Valley Forge.

The building to the right was Washington's headquarters during the perilous winter of  1777-8 when the Continental Army was encamped at Valley Forge.

Since this was technically the little lady's first national park visit I stopped and got her a little t-shirt in the visitor center to commemorate the trip, as well as a book for Wade on how to camp with kids.  That reminded me her second national park unit will be the Virgin Islands National Park in December, so I'm hoping we can find her a little onsie or something there too!

It was a cold week in Philly, but I was happy to get back to work after waiting out the government shutdown and was thankful I could make it home just in time for Halloween.  I also realized that I'm going to need some maternity work pants because I barely fit into any of my old dress clothes for this trip!  I have to go back for a day to do a final presentation of my findings in January, so I'm going to have to figure out something to keep myself warm (hopefully a jacket will still fit!).

Starting to feel real

Last week we had our Level 2 Ultrasound which is basically a more detailed look at the baby to see if she's in one piece and everything is in order.  When you're maternally "old" as I have been classified (medically defined as any woman over 35 at or before birth - I turn 35 in Dec.) then you have to do some extra testing like the genetic screening we did and this detailed ultrasound.  It even checks blood flow to and from some of the major organs in a color-coded real-time display.  It was pretty interesting actually and they said everything looks normal.  Poor thing though, she looked pretty squished in there!

This has only added to our sense of reality setting in as I have also had to go to the dark side this week and finally commit to wearing maternity pants.  This weekend I think I felt our first kicks and it made me wonder if it's because I was wearing my non-maternity pants (which I can't button) and she was trying to elbow for more space... so that was enough guilt to get me to put out the bat signal to friends looking for any maternity hand-me downs.  Thankfully a number of friends came through!  We have a maternity consignment store nearby which I've been frequenting and have found a few things in my size, but we don't have any regular maternity stores nearby to try stuff unless I want to spend a small fortune.  Which I can't.  So we're trying to be as thrifty as possible on things so I can afford maternity leave in the spring.

Our winter Farmer's Market is finally back up and running, so Saturday morning we had a date to head to the market to wander around, enjoy food, and pick up some organic veggies.  We also got to see an education display of local raptors and they had two live screech owls which were ADORABLE.  Who knew they were so little and so cute!?  

Unfortunately I have not mastered pictures on the iPhone, so these adult screech owls are blurry.

The weather was perfect and now that I can enjoy food again we had a tour de force that morning of our favorites - Ethiopian food, fresh lemonade, kettle corn, and an almond blueberry jam cookie.  Oh lord I was in heaven and it was so nice to just be able to eat food and thoroughly enjoy it.  It was a great date and we had a lot of fun - it was a perfect start to a lovely weekend that was ultimately a lot of work, but really productive.

We spent the entire weekend putting together a bunch of storage furniture from Ikea which was pretty fun actually.... mostly because we've been talking about redoing our living room and dining rooms for over a year now to make them more functional and enjoyable and we finally did it!  I'll show some before and after pictures in the next post.  

We had to move some furniture around in the house to turn the Den into the Nursery which means moving a lot of stuff we store in the den elsewhere.  The new storage in the dining room and living room make that possible.  It also feels a little bit like we're in a new house since everything's been changed around in the majority of the rooms and as a bonus we get even better views of our yard an garden now from our living room!  It's nice to feel like we can get started on the nursery now, although we still have two pieces of furniture in there that will have to go first.

Well, I'm head out of town this week for a work trip to Philadelphia to do interviews for a project.  Fortunately I get home just in time to enjoy Halloween at home, but I am hoping I don't freeze my buns off while I'm there!

The registry dilemma

So it looks like a missed a few FAQs in my last post - particularly as related to baby "stuff":

1. I've finally got to putting a registry together on Amazon which has been more work than fun since it takes a while to look for things that aren't plastic, organic/made from natural materials, don't have flame retardants, aren't toxic, and will breathe in our Florida summers.  We also want to avoid "disposable" anything and focus on reusable things that will last for a second kid.
2.  We have NO storage space in our house, so we're trying to be minimalists about what gear we get since we don't have a closet or spare room to hide baby stuff in.
3.  We're not doing a theme in the nursery (the former den/guest bedroom next to our room) since you can see it from every room of the house, so we're going with colors (walls are already periwinkle blue with white trim and we'll add sweet orange accents) and things in that range - orange cats, butterflies, goldfish, owls, foxes, etc.  We're fans of variety and don't want the room to scream "baby girl nursery!"
4.  We're also fans of recycling baby stuff, so hand-me-downs (clothes, gear, whatever) are welcome (however we're looking to avoid any of the frilly pink princes nonsense, especially since we want to use it again for #2 down the road).  I'll even take "boys clothes" as long as they don't have sports themes on them (I am not a sports person at all really).  We've already been the benefactors of some recycled baby stuff from generous friends who are leaving their kids' baby years behind and we're super thankful!

I've been doing so much research that I've been using our registry more of a check list for me to jot down what we need, rather than using it as a public registry.  In our house we have had to work on reconcile two conflicting emotions with registries - not wanting it to seem like we've created a list of stuff for people to buy for us, but also wanting to help give people some guidance on ideas if they do want to get something for the baby.  Growing up, I came from a "list" family - for birthday and Christmas I made a list of things I like that family could look through to pick something they liked to get for me and it worked great - no one was disappointed and gift givers always felt like they found something that would be valued and appreciated.  Maybe it's the Midwestern side of my family, but I really hate gift giving if I'm not 100% sure the person is going to like it.  It might also be that after years of living in small places on my own (and moving a lot) I really hate clutter and waste.  Surprises are nice, but I like small surprises so if things don't work out, it's more about the thought that counts and no one is upset they spent a lot of money on something the other person isn't that excited about (I am flashing back to our first Christmas together when Wade and I were both clueless, after that we employed "the list".)

Since we're being particular about the kinds of things we're going to use (organic, cotton/wool, no plastic/foam/PVC, wood, non-toxic/no flame retardants, no disposables, etc) I came to terms with the fact that we're going to need a registry.  So I've spent some time putting the core things we need on there, but also putting some fun small gift-size stuff (books, toys) on there for people who feel like getting our little lady something.  We're hoping to build her a nice library, so if you have a favorite baby book not on our list - we'd love to see it!

(Warning: I'm in that phase of pregnancy where it's common to have awful nightmares about things going wrong with the baby - my nightmares however have come in the form of what kind of world she'll find when she grows up, especially in the face of climate change, so I'm about to get a little intense below about why making eco-friendly choices is important to me.  Please just humor me, I've been working on environmental issues for over a decade so it just all boils to the surface sometimes - one of those "when you know too much" moments...  I promise I do end on a happy note though!) 

The other reason I get a little keyed up about waste and giving meaningful, useful gifts is that having kids is actually a pretty wasteful enterprise.  Scientific studies have actually tried to quantify the environmental impacts of having a baby in the U.S. and they all seem to find that the most environmentally destructive thing you can do it bring another child into the world - no, I am not exaggerating (and it doesn't matter if they have an environmental ethic either).  I have seen scientific talks about this too - over population is, ironically, a real and growing threat to life on earth (limited clean land, water, food, and energy resources, pollution, etc) and I have seen presentations by world-renown scientists that end by saying, "if you want to save a coral reef, use a condom" (not joking).  This is for a variety of reasons that change depending on whether you're in a developed country like the U.S. or a poorer developing country.  Smart growth doesn't just apply to economies, it applies to people too.

We're all in this together...

To put this in perspective, humor me and think through this exercise:  What would it take a group of people to survive long-term in a space ship with no chance of help from the outside  -- you would need a self-contained, self-sufficient life support system and ship that provides clean air, water, food, and room for the residents, etc.  (If you've seen the movie Gravity recently it might give you some perspective)  Now realize that the planet Earth is exactly that and our environment (atmosphere, oceans/rivers, and undeveloped land/forests) is the life support system - we're all stuck on this blue ball in the vacuum of space with limited and finite air, water, and land/food resources - suddenly makes you think twice about where your garbage goes or what you put into the air or water doesn't it?  You could be poisoning or throwing away your or your kid's water, air, or food.  Suddenly recycling, organic (chemical free) food and gardening, and water conservation doesn't sound like such a burdensome idea.  This is why we environmentalists do these things and fight for these things, not because we're tree-hugging nutters (well, some are), but we have seen the science and seen the change in our ecosystems and/or personal health to know that things are changing and it's in our power to make the daily choices to not poison or waste resources for ourselves, our kids, family, and those who come after us.

I'm not trying to soap box this, I just wanted to point out that we're putting effort into finding non-toxic and organic baby things, using cloth diapers, avoiding plastic, recycling clothes/gear, and being minimalistic for a reason - we don't take our decision to add another human to the world lightly and I'm going to do my damnedest to make sure we leave her a cleaner, healthier place than she'll find when she arrives in this world.  I also want to make sure that we're not exposing her to any more chemicals in her life than necessary (a growing problem in the production of baby clothes and items) since babies have sensitive and developing immune and endocrine systems.  Ok, so maybe that did get a bit soap-boxy - my point was just to illustrate why these things are important to us.

The good news is that more people are starting to figure this out and make changes in how they live their lives or run their companies to reduce waste or pollution.  Everyone can take simple steps in their everyday lives to make a difference - we started years ago with carrying our own shopping bags (back when the store clerks looked at us like we were nuts) and now we grow organic veggies, compost, and raise chickens for our own eggs!  The point is, if you don't know where to start, start with one small act and it will likely grow into something you never thought possible. :)  I'm always happy to share ideas on where to start too!

A return to our regularly scheduled programming....

Sooo, yeah, it's been quiet around the 'ole blog again - for a few reasons:

1) Hooray, work kept me really busy this summer!,
2) Being on the computer all day didn't really entice me to spend extra time on the addiction box at night too,
3) We've been tending 4 baby chickens in the house since September which has kept us busy, in addition to prepping our garden beds for the fall:

Meet Pearl, Maybelle, Sunny, and Foxy the newest additions to our flock.

4) And ever since July, I've been, shall we say, managing a new distraction on my time:

Baby pumpkin makes three....

In case you aren't getting the hint, or haven't already heard, Wade and I are expecting a baby girl at the end of next March!  We're excited, but for most of the summer we were waiting it out while I was busy feeling like death warmed over.  We waited until 12 weeks to tell or to even let it feel real because we learned the hard way last year that things don't always work out.

I didn't talk openly about this on our blog last year because you never know who's reading and at the time I didn't feel like I worked for an organization that was "family friendly" - however, I wanted to talk about it because we know lots of people who have or have gone through similar experiences and I think the more people talk about it, the more people can feel supported and not alone.  Last year those times I was really sick and had to go in for a "procedure" were us struggling through trying to start a family.  The first time in the spring of 2012 we ended up having an ectopic pregnancy that we didn't catch for almost 7 weeks and it almost killed me (seriously, we later discovered I was bleeding internally and they had to remove one of my tubes).  Then in the fall we had a miscarriage (genetic misfire we later found out) that didn't fully resolve on it's own so they had to put me under again to clean things up.  This was about the same time things started imploding at work, so we took it as a sign to hold off trying for a while.  Now the biologist in us understood things happen and miscarriages are a way of the body sorting the healthy pregnancies from the ones that aren't going to make it, so we took it in stride.  The hardest part was actually managing everyone else's expectations/excitement then watching that look of horror or extreme discomfort with not knowing what to say when it didn't work out although we had actually come to terms with it.  So although I hate keeping secrets, we decided it was actually easier to wait to tell folks until it looked like this was the real deal - it's kinder to not have to put our friends and family through the ups and downs and it's less draining for us to not have to manage everyone else's emotions about it in addition to our own.

Soooo, let's get to the FAQ's shall we?
1.  We're at 16.5 weeks, and the little chicklet is "due" March 31st.
2.  The first trimester was pretty rough and I did once plead to die.  I had "morning" sickness 24/7 for 3 months.  All food and even water was the enemy.
3.  I still cannot brush my teeth without almost throwing up - EVERY time (and sometimes I actually do!)
4.  I will not be taking bump pictures - I do not want to remember what I look like right now, which is generally like I've put on a beer gut rather than a baby.  Sexy!
5.  I can still fit into most of my low cut pants (except my dress pants), however, the shirts are starting to look a little awkward (see #4).
6.  The cats have been super lovey dovey and snuggly so we think they know something is up and are already working to turn her into a cat lover.  Yay!
7.  I am just now able to start cooking again, Wade's been doing the lion's share of cooking since the mere thought of cooking food usually made me want to curl up in a deep dark hole.  Frozen lunches have been a savior during the day.
8.  Yes, I am still vegetarian and gluten-free, and no, I have had zero meat cravings; refried beans yes, but meat - ick!
9.  I have not had any real cravings so no late night runs for Wade.  Rather, all food has been the devil, so I'm just happy to be able to eat anything again.
10.  My bedtime companion for the last few months has been heartburn and we are not on speaking terms.
11.  At our 12 week ultrasound we could see her moving (although you can't feel it until ~5mo) and Wade and I both concluded it felt like I'd been invaded by an alien parasite.  It was creepy and weird.
12.  We did some early genetic screening which indicated that we shouldn't have to worry about any of the major issues and it also told us it was a Girl, which did help everything feel more real and less like an alien invasion.
13.  I am convinced that the "pregnancy glow" is a myth propagated to hookwink women into procreating.  I look like and feel like my worst teenage years - unruly hair, angry skin, and my hormones laugh in the face of any deodorant.
14.  Wade has been great picking up my slack around the house, taking care of me, and has been helping me keep a sense of humor about everything.  He has also been keeping the animals alive single-handedly since the smell of their food (meat) generally sent me running for the bathroom.

Well, that covers the essentials for now.

Stay tuned, I'll be better about blogging now since it's the easiest way to keep friends and family updated since we still have zero desire to get on Facebook. :)

Well, hello there.

So, this is awkward, I said I'd be back to tell you about how wonderful 2013 is... and 4 months later I'm finally getting back to you my trusty blog.  You'll happily wait for me while I'm off finding more interesting things to do, and I am sorry.  Let's recap so we can break the ice and catch up like old friends:
In January I didn't exactly act like I was enjoying unemployed time, in fact at one point Wade told me I was busier then than when I actually was employed?  So much for that paid vacation...  Instead, I got elected to the board of directors (as president) of the Sustainable Urban Agriculture Coalition (SUAC) and it promptly took up a lot of my time, but I loved having the flexibility to be able to volunteer to do something I loved.  I was also thrilled to finally be on my first board of directors.  That, combined with a lot of soul searching and interviewing of past colleagues led me to do something I never thought in a million years I would do - launch my own environmental consulting practice, 3 Little Birds Consulting, LLC.  Yes, the name is an homage to the Bob Marley song that makes me feel at peace, but also our 3 chickens.  I even made a cool logo, business cards, and a website.  The launch took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, and help from friends and family who reviewed endless versions or provided IT support (thanks Jimmy!).

This new adventure has let me have the free time to do more to promote urban agriculture in our county, but it has also let me get to know our neighbors better now that I have time for a trip to the zoo or botanical gardens, cookies in the afternoon, or tea before breakfast.  It's also let me make new friends, and see old friends more often and that has given me a sense of peace that I haven't had in years.

In February I signed my first client, then another.  I am making about as much as I am spending on business right now, so I'm not breaking out the bubbly, but it's a start.  I've been talking to so many people to look for work, learn about being a consultant, and just plain catch up with the world (January was a bit of a much needed time out for me).  Our friend Marilyn came to visit and we had so much fun - we saw manatees, pigged out at the farmer's market, and enjoyed biking around town.  After that our friend Kellyn came to visit for a bit and we made a trip down to Anna Maria so Kellyn could enjoy the beach and we could have a fun dinner with Mom and Larry.  For our 7th wedding anniversary, Wade planned a trip to the local state park, Honeymoon Island to celebrate.  We saw armadillos, a gopher tortoise, our first baby owl (and we wanted to take him home), and more osprey than we could count.  We had a great hike and a wonderful picnic lunch.

OMG - a baby owl!!!

In March, I did some of my first work for my new client, which took me to Miami and I actually enjoyed being back there, rather than the usual dread that accompanies my time there.  I took it as a sign that my change in jobs has had beneficial impacts at a level deeper than previously realized.  It's funny how you don't really know you've been unhappy until you wake up one day and realize you're in such a better place that it's changed your definition of happiness.  I also took a trip for another client to scenic Destin, Florida and fortunately Wade was going for work too so we could carpool.  It was a long drive (over 6 hours), but it was fun to see Wade in his element and for us to be taking a work trip together.

In April I started feeling really guilty that I hadn't paid attention to you my dear blog, but I've been frustrated that I don't have a good camera anymore to capture things to share with you.  Wade's parents came to visit for Easter and we had a wonderful Easter brunch with them at Mom and Larry's house.  We also made a lot of progress in the yard and things are lovely and in bloom.  We laid down a fresh layer of mulch and we've been asked to be on a garden tour or two this year.  The urban agriculture work has consumed even more of my time (still volunteer) but it's been great networking and good practice for the kind of work I hope to get paid for some day.  I'm trying hard to be patient with myself about getting new clients and have to remind myself that the first year is always the toughest.  Hopefully business will continue to grow.  For now we're trying to live as frugally as possible to get by on my severely reduced income.

So, my dear blog, I will have to get over the shame of crappy pictures and just get back to blogging.  I've been asked to write an article for a food magazine this month and it's gotten my creative juices going again - today I just knew I had to blog again, so here I am, please forgive me for ignoring you.  Also please excuse my crappy grammar or typos, I just needed to post something to break the ice and get over the shame of being away so long.  It's nice to be home again.

New Year, New Adventures

Welcome 2013!!!  We rang in the new year with our wonderful neighbors at Katie and Brian's house, one block over.  The guys entertained themselves all night with table shuffleboard and cornhole while the ladies swapped stories and watched the kids zip around.  We're so thankful to have such a wonderful group of people in our neighborhood and even more grateful that everyone embraces the classic notion of neighbors - spending time together, looking out for one another, and making this a great place to live.  

Just before the clock struck midnight, we passed around champagne so we could toast with the ball drop.  It's the first time I can really remember feeling a sense of excitement and relief with the start of the new year so it was fun to stay up to officially welcome the first few minutes of what I feel will be a great year for us.  It was icing on the cake that we could start the new year surrounded by great people and new friends.

Happy New Year everyone!  We hope it's filled with good things for all of you!